CSP-006

Object #: 006

Object Class: Euclid

Written by Dr. Jonas

Security clearance: 04

Special Containment Procedures: Any reports of CSP-Garfelt are to be investigated and documented for truthfulness. Any witnesses of CSP-Garfelt are to have their memories wiped. Witnesses with their name a variant of Jon are to be interviewed and questioned. If the CSP-Garfelt phenomena is to happen to any CSP officials whose name is not a variant of Jon, you are to follow the monster for as long as possible to see where it goes.

Description: CSP-Garfelt is a phenomena that happens seemingly every night in a random human settlement. The circumstances have to be perfect for people to see the event in action: their house, out of many, is the one to be chosen, they are in the kitchen/refrigerator area, and they are awake at the proper time. The event happens anytime from 12:00 PM to 6:00 AM, but is particularly common around 3.

What happens during the event is a small, Garfield-like creature called CSP-Garfelt will materialize in the room adjacent to the kitchen, walk into the kitchen, and take a lasagna from the fridge. Even if there is nothing in the fridge at all, CSP-Garfelt will somehow still find lasagna anyways. What happens next is completely based on Garfelt’s surroundings.

Security cams have caught that if there are no humans in the room, CSP-Garfelt will simply ingest the lasagna into its stomach, grow incredibly long arms from it’s ribcage, climb out the nearest window and use it’s long arms to walk away. Cameras outside these houses have noticed that the monster can still be seen for some distance, until it vanishes from the horizon.

If there is a human in the room, CSP-Garfelt will turn and look at them and say “I’m sorry, but I require the lasagna” in a voice very similar to Garfield’s from The Garfield Show, but heavily distorted. Again, he will melt the lasagna into his abdomen. He then screams as many random extra limbs suddenly sprout from his stomach area, and he climbs out the window in the same fashion. He again can be seen from some distance as he leaves.

If there is a human in the room whose name is a variant of “Jon” (e.g. Jonathan, Johnny, or even Jonas) CSP-Garfelt will turn over and say “I’m sorry, Jon” and become a truly horrific beast, a demented Garfield similar to the Creepy Garfield drawings and Gorefield from Garfield Gameboy’d. CSP-Garfelt will then try to attack the witness (who is now called CSP-Garfelt-002). Luckily, CSP-Garfelt is very slow in monster form and is incredibly easy to avoid. Also, Garfelt seems to have a very low attention span, and will give up after about a minute and vanish. Because of this, only 1 out of the 148 “Jon” CSP-Garfelt sightings has actually resulted in the victim’s death.

Discovery: CSP-Garfelt was first seen in 1989, a year after Garfield was created. The “Jon” feature of CSP-Garfelt was discovered the same year. Jim Davis, creator of Garfield, reported having vivid nightmares about a mutilated Garfield (Gorefield), which he drew. The next morning, he awoke to find the picture not on the page. The first sighting happened a week afterwards.